Vivid Dreams

So, the sum is, that I have VERY vivid dreams. Many vivid dreams in fact. Every night, it is me and my mind, battleing with each other for every thought every destructive and beautiful triage of memory and line of thought. Some are good, most aare bad.

My dreams are filled with the agony and angst of what my thoughts give me. It's why I'm so tired and why I barely sleep. Though, I don't rue them, muchly the opposite, I enjoy them, I revel in my minds fantasies and my fantasies.

I will share all that I can give, but be warned, some are strange, in extremis.

My first vivid dream:

This is the one that sparked it all, every single root every branch of hell. This seeded it all. Why? Because it ALL came true.
I start out within a room, but it's not just a room, it's a large room, but not just a large room, a large room with no windows, no doors, only a table, a chair and me. But then, everything turns a bright white, the walls fall down and I'm released into the sky, a red sky. I'm falling, drifting, drooping, falling and dying. But I'm not dying, I'm not even flying anymore. I'm standing on my feet, looking straight into the eyes of a dazzling girl. Less then my height, but no, she's taller than me. Wait, she's not really there, she's there, but I'm so far, I'm so far away from her. Then, I'm in class, raising my hand up high, so high it's hitting the ceiling, but it's not the ceiling, it's actually the sky, and then I'm falling again, back to the ground, but not the ground, the water. I'm drowning...I'm drowning forever, then I'm back on dry ground, hugging tightly to someone, a girl, but then she's gone and then I wake up.
I think that I have it figured out now. The room, the room was my mind, I was in the dartkness, but then everything fell away, my mind opened, freedom, and I was free-falling, too fast, going to spiral from existence...Die, as a matter of fact. But then I foccussed on something, someone, this girl...I'm not too sure who it is, though...It all just got mangled after that. But now...I'm free, or i feel it's equivalent on my fingertips. And there is a girl, stuck in my mind, can't get her out to save me.

Another vivid dream:

Now, I was walking, walking along, a bright day, a pleasant day. A breeze gently rising from the west as I walk to the north, my hair whipping in the air. But, I'm not walking after that, I'm sitting, sitting in a desk, the words are al blurry and then, I stand and fall backwards, fluid pouring from my shoulder, but it isn't blood. I taste it. It is juice. Wine? Coming from my wound, and there is a wound, as large as a quarter in my shoulder, but the bone isn't even damaged. I don't even think the flesh layer was even broken. I faint, I fall and I'm in the arms of someone, talking to me, asking where are my shoes, where are my shoes, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES!? And tears are faling, but I'm not crying, not crying at all. then I wake up, the soaked rag on my forehead completely dried up.
I can't even begin to make sense out of this one, it's pretty impossible to my own mind as well, just a dream, hopefully.

Two more, then I'll shut up:

I'm sleeping and I'm dreaming, but I wake up and walk to my basement, wondering what's going on. From my basement, through the basement door there is a gigantic chittering noise, one pushing through and all around me. Do I heed the warning, ofcourse not. I walk down the stairs to my basement and I see nothing as the light slides on. So, I walk to the middle, then from the ceiling descends a giant spider, as big as me hands, together. I stare at it, and it's bulbous eyes stare back into me, then it attacks. I fall backwards, batting at it desperately with my hands, but futilely. It bites me, again, on my arm, then on my shoulder. I'm crying, red tears of flaming anger and desperation as I bat it away from me. I stomp on it, I stomp on it again, and then it jumps onto my ankle, tearing into it, ripping the skin open and devouring my flesh. The acid of it's maw stings me leg and makes my cry. It makes me fall to the floor and I reach desperately for something, I take a hold of it andthen I swing, batting the spider away again, then I stab it, and it dies. And I stand, shaking and shivering, looking at the rabiid mess of my body, then I look to where the spider landed, but it isn;t a spider anymore, it's me, and I look at the body, then my body, then I wake up, in a cold sweat.
This one happened only a week ago, it's very fresh in my mind and it pains me to say it, but it truly terrified me. I have a but of arachnaphobia in me and it really does not fit well for me, but there it is.

One more, but it's a bit gushy, so skip if you will it:

I'm in my bed, yes, my bed. And then she's there, the girl whom I've dreamed before, but she's actual in the bed and I'm not dead. So, I thought, but I wasn't. I was alive, her breath cool on my as she readjusted herself to me, but my eyes snap open, and I look to her, I leap from my bed and I fall more than I should be. It's only then that I see I'm not in my room, I'm on a pillar on my bed. She notices me falling and wonders what is wrong, but she doesn't see what is happening to me. I'm going to die, but I'm actually not falling. I'm on the floor of my room safely on the wood of the floor of my room. She rolls her eyes and pouts, rolling off the bed and landing on top of me, onto my form, I'm stunned. It's a dream, but it's a good dream. a dream, I keep telling myself, but I don't wake up, I don't nap my eyes open. I see on top of me, the girl and then I kiss and she kisses and then I drift. I grip her to me and she sighs softly on me. With a light-hearted laugh I pull away and lift her up and back onto the bed, laying her on it and then laying beside her. As I lay back beside her I awake from the dream, It's 7:01, I'm late for my bus b y about an hour.
This one...Yea, it's mushy gushy, but I'm a guy, I can't really help dreaming of a girl, though, I don't get it myself. Ir is my most recent vivid dream and it stings me a bit to try and fit the person into it, the person who it could be or maybe should be. I'm not too sure, just a dream.

Dreams, we all have them, but which of them are real? Some of them are so real, you can taste them, you can feel them, even mumble and speak to them. Sometimes, I think the dreams are better.

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Every paradox and every contradiction in life are the thoughts of Matthias, he likes to take his time with things, but with other things he'll be fast and decisive. Ever the unsettled spirit, he usually can't decide how to spend his day most of the time.

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